why isn't there a guide to life.

or at least a guide on how I should be living my life?

midnight comes once again.

middle of the night.

but what begins the night?

the hour the earth rotates to share the sun?

I don't care.

it's another day.

a day to live.

a day to think.

a day to breathe.

a day to do something.

a day to forget.

a day to pass.

to wait.

for tomorrow.

the cool autumn breeze is calling me.

I've come back to the place, only to find it isn't what I wanted.

but in you, I find a new relief.

come to me.

I want you to experience pleasure.


To reach the high many have come before.


Get off with me, and all will be well.

Give me my release.

I'll put on a facade
not let you know
distractions abound

late night again
alluding sleep that I don't feel I need
but something's telling me I do

therefore I intoxicate myself again

another year goes by and he's still gone
and I wonder if things would still be the same.

...and then, I dreamt of you.
All of you. Within me.

I dreamt of your tongue, your sweet sensual kiss.
The smell of your skin, the touch of your hand.

I felt whole.

I can't help it. I want you and no one else.

You. There to fulfill my desires.

I hear you upon my ear, your fiery breath beckoning me.

Tease me.

Hurt me.

Inflict the pain I know so well.

nothing left to tie me to you anymore
except for the memories

I am wearing your clothes as if I wanted to be you.
in a way I was you as you were me
traveling down the same road connected only by the mutual attraction of sex
even though you're gone
we are still the same.

you're still the same.
haven't changed at all.
why are you still hiding?
what is it all for?

Nobody knows me. Like you know me.

I think I want to, he said
I replied, is that what you really want? or is that just your devious nature.
I was headed in the wrong direction

I am not fine.

another light missing.
you're still gone.
and I don't believe it.


where did you go?

I still think of you
in escence all of you
back again to the past

end another year.
let's start all over again.

cut the ties
burn the bridge
it's over.

Give me that look
habitual desire once again
beautiful lips
gorgeous
do it again
I've done it again
stay away from it all
empty feeling
attract it to me
don't say anything
I want you
to know me
like nothing before